This is a story about struggles, stress, strengths, and finally getting unstuck….

I’m usually a very positive person.  I mean, it’s right there in my #2 strength: Positivity.  I love fun and seek happy adventures.  Even when I’m down, I bounce back quickly because life is too fun to stay down!

But lately there has been a lot on my mind and I realized I wasn’t always my “up” self.  The truth is that I’m struggling with a few things right now.   In addition to managing the sadness of losing my mom, I am struggling with (a) weight loss & chronically bad back that inhibits exercise, (b) a sensitive tummy that gets crabby at all the wrong times, and (c) figuring out how to manage the unpredictable financial ups & downs of owning a business.  Right now, everything feels like just another problem to solve.  Let me be clear: I have no doubt I’m not alone in this and many of you have been there, too!

So, in an effort to get out of my funk, I decided to try one of my own tricks and do a little “self-coaching” using Strengthsfinder.  I looked at my Full 34 strengths list, which shows my natural talents the top, and the things I dislike (and don’t do well) at the bottom.  I asked myself these questions:

1. Looking at your strengths, what is making this situation feel so difficult?
2. What strengths can you use to better manage your feelings, behavior and attitudes during this time?

And what happened?  I blew my own mind.

Looking at my strengths, the biggest aha was at the bottom of my list.  Things at the bottom of the list are things we don’t like to do and that suck all the energy out of us.  My #34 strength – the very, very bottom of my list – is Restorative.  People high in the Restorative talent get energy and joy out of finding & fixing problems.  And me?  Since it’s at the bottom of my list, I am completely drained by solving and fixing problems.  And I am looking at all of these situations as problems to solve.

To quote Homer Simpson, DOH!

Okay, now what do I DO about it?  Frame of mind is everything, so first things first:  in my case, I need to stop thinking of them as problems to solve!  Instead I can intentionally use some of my top 10 strengths to put me back in control and look at it differently.  For example, my #7 strength is Maximizer, so I’m starting by re-framing them as “experiences I can Maximize.”  I’m also using many other things in my top 10 to take back my positivity.

The details of my plan aren’t important, but the result is.  Honestly, it feels so good just to type those things.  Intentionally using my strengths feels great, and it’s my wheelhouse, my zone, the place where I fire on all cylinders.

So, to all of you struggling out there, hang in there.  Try using your strengths to understand the stress and tap into some much-needed energy.  Remember that we all have unique gifts that can help us bounce back, and also remember that I have Empathy at the top of my list…so I’m here for ya whenever you need me.  😊